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If you’ve ever heard of Borderline Personality Disorder and wondered what it was, here’s an explanation from someone who has BPD.

What exactly is BPD?  Unlike bipolar, which is a mood disorder, BPD is a personality disorder characterized by severe mood swings, impulsive behavior, and unstable relationships. A more accurate name for BPD is Emotional Dysregulation Disorder.

It is common for those with BPD to have more than one mental health diagnosis. Borderline impacts how you feel about yourself and others, this results in problems functioning in their everyday lives.

What age does Borderline Personality Disorder show up, and whats the prognosis? Most people are diagnosed as a young adult. The symptoms seem much worse in young adulthood, and may gradually get better with age. BPD has a high suicide rate of at least 10%, but around 75% attempt suicide. Many of us won’t make it to age 27.

How do you get BPD? Most people agree its caused by a traumatic childhood. Maybe they had a narcissistic dad and a mother who is emotionally unavailable. As a child their feelings are constantly being invalidated, or they may have been abandoned by a parent or caregiver. Although BPD is thought to be caused from a chaotic, invalidating childhood, some peoples brain chemistry makes them predispositioned to the mental health problem.

Let’s identify the symptoms of BPD, you don’t need to have them all, just most.

Do you have any symptoms? How many?

• Intense fear of abandonment and rejection.
• Intense unstable relationships, often idolizing them for how good they are, then having severe hatred for them, because they are no good and don’t care about you.
• Rapid changes in self identity and self image
• Periods of stress related paranoia.
• Loss of contact with reality that lasts minutes to hours
• Impulsive risky behavior (Drugs, sex, gambling, spending money impulsively, and always sabotaging success.)
• Self injury, suicidal threats or behaviors, and eating disorders.
• Wide mood swings
• Always feeling empty inside, bored.
• Inappropriate explosive fits of anger
• Disassociation. Staring blankly, quiet, feeling outside your body, or like you’re dreaming.

Less talked about symptoms of BPD:

1. Age regression (behaving much younger)
2. Going from hypersexual, to sexual repulsion.
3. Having a favorite person
4. Falling in love really fast.

One of the things borderlines do is called Splitting. Its not Splitting personalities, I will give you an example of what it looks like with me. I love my husband, he takes care of me and cares. Then something will happen that makes me scared or mad, and I get hot and sweaty and start yelling untill I lose my voice. During an episode I will possibly hit, I will threaten and devalue my husband, who at the time I really believe he is no good and I hate his guts. Its not just, angry, its out of controll rage, and suddenly believing the opposite.

When someone splits, what helps is a Big time out. They will need a few hours to a day, for their normal self to return. Then we often hate ourselves for feeling, acting like that.

When something is bothering us, we do something called disassociate. To someone else it would look like someone was quiet, dazed and staring. It feels like you’re dreaming, not awake, and like you are separated from your body.

Is their treatment for BPD? There are no medications specifically for borderline, they give meds to treat the symptoms. There is also DBT, dialectical behavior therapy, a very successful program for treating BPD

What triggers a BPD episode? Things like invalidating their feelings, being interrupted, being left out, or even not returning a text.

Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the hardest mental issues to deal with.

We need to take self harm serious. It can be very dangerous, and although it may be an attempt to distract oneself from the mental pain, many people think its just a cry for help.

Borderlines do have the highest suicide rate, we often feel alone, empty and like we’re too much for anyone to deal with. You are not crazy and there is always someone to talk to. The National Suicide Prevention phone number is: 1-800-273-8255 and they will help, and they are always available.

Do you suspect you or a loved one has Borderline Personality Disorder?

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